Well, yeah, you could, yeah, you could do that, of course you could. But why? Look at these people. These human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet and blinking step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than. No, hold on. Sorry, that’s The Lion King. But the point still stands.

The Blind Banker: A Humorous Summary

  • Dogged Nice Guy:
    radiating unrequited love
  • Soo Lin:
    Please stop standing outside my flat at midnight with a boombox. The neighbours complain.
  • ~LATER TIME~
  • Soo Lin:
    packing up
  • OMINOUS RUSTLING
  • Statue:
    boo you whore
  • Soo Lin:
    MOTHER OF GOD
  • -THEME MUSIC BREAKING IT DOWN-
  • John:
    I gon buy me some lettuce
  • Checkout:
    lolno
  • -221B-
  • Sherlock casually having a late morning near death experience with an armed assailant in his own flat
  • -SHOPS-
  • John:
    work, you box of crap
  • Checkout:
    hell nah bitch no lettuce for you
  • John:
    WHORE OF A THING fuck this I'm out keep the fucking lettuce
  • Checkout:
    VICTORY FOR MY PEOPLE
  • -BACK AT HOME-
  • John:
    honey I'm home
  • Sherlock:
    oh hello John I was just reading this book hmm yes where are the groceries
  • John:
    fucken chip and pin machines
  • Sherlock:
    ... I see.
  • John:
    listen Sherlock this is really out of character for me which shows kind of how desperate I am but if you could lend me a couple of fivers -
  • Sherlock:
    let's go to the bank
  • John:
    that was quick
  • -BANK-
  • Sebastian:
    Hi, I'm a douchebag
  • Sherlock:
    This is my -
  • John:
    I'M NOT HIS BOYFRIEND
  • Sebastian:
    Yeah lol no one would want to be his boyfriend
  • Sebastian:
    We all hated him in uni
  • Sebastian:
    ahaha what a freak right
  • Sherlock:
  • Sebastian:
    so buddy help me out here
  • -cctv time-
  • Sebastian:
    weird as fuck right
  • Sherlock:
    dancing
  • John:
    at least I get money woah there are a lot of zeroes there
  • -VAN COON'S APARTMENT-
  • Sherlock:
    HAY GURL HAY SO LOL I LEFT MY KEYS IN MY FLAT COULD YOUR GORGEOUS SELF BUZZ ME UP
  • Woman:
    sounds legit
  • Sherlock:
    invetigation in progress
  • John:
    let me in, you dick
  • Sherlock:
    Ooh, a dead body! I CALL IT
  • -CALL IN THE POLICE-
  • Dimmock:
    Lestrade was eating a bagel so they sent me instead
  • Sherlock:
    what
  • Dimmock:
    -authoritative glare-
  • Sherlock:
    who does this bitch think he is
  • Dimmock:
    obviously this is a suicide
  • Sherlock:
    Obviously you're an idiot
  • Dimmock:
    what
  • Sherlock:
    more dancing
  • John:
    I have no explanation or apology for my friend's behaviour
  • -CLASSY RESTAURANT-
  • Sebastian:
    you just ruined the punchline of my Japanese golfer joke
  • Sherlock:
    Seb a guy just got killed
  • Sebastian:
    searching for a fuck to give
  • John:
    what a wanker
  • -GETTING A JOB AND A GIRL AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE I'M JOHN WATSON-
  • Sarah:
    giggling and twisting my hair round my finger
  • John:
    boooobbs
  • -221B-
  • Sherlock:
    WHERE WERE YOU
  • John:
    ...out
  • Sherlock:
    I NEEDED A PEN
  • Sherlock:
    "SHE" WHO IS "SHE"
  • Sherlock:
    IS THAT WOMAN I SMELL ON YOU
  • -POLICE STATION-
  • Dimmock:
    no way is voldemort back
  • Sherlock:
    are you shitting me how dumb are you
  • John:
    listen up you dumb fuck people are getting murdered
  • Dimmock:
    pics or it didn't happen
  • -INVESTIGATING-
  • Sherlock:
    codes library advice
  • Happy-slapping hoodie with ASBOS and ringtones:
    nope. SHIT COPS
  • John:
    wait what
  • cops:
    caught you bitch
  • -LATER-
  • John:
    sherlock you are the worst friend ever
  • Sherlock:
    shush John I'm thinking about murder
  • John:
    verbal keysmash of rage
  • Sherlock:
    that's cute now come and help me with shit
  • -more investigating-
  • Racist stereotype:
    YOU WANT LUCKY CAT? TEN POUN' ONLY TEN POUN' VERY CHEEAAAP
  • Sherlock:
    smugglers
  • John:
    I need food
  • Sherlock:
    dancing around a flat
  • John:
    HEY I'M SHERLOCK HOLMES AND I'M A MASSIVE DICKHEAD
  • Assailant:
    ninja attack
  • Sherlock:
    choking - not breathing
  • John:
    OH MY GOD SHERLOCK YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHEBAG
  • -TRAIN TRACKS-
  • John:
    SHERLOCK I FOUND CODES shit where did they go
  • Sherlock:
    DANCE WITH ME
  • John:
    sherlock this has to stop -
  • Sherlock:
    IT'S FOR SCIENCE
  • John:
    sherlock if we danced together it would be gay, they'd never make that canon, I mean dancing in a ballroom in formal gear in the middle of a case and in plain sight of everyone else, that would NEVER HAPPEN
  • -MUSEUM-
  • Soo Lin:
    suttering heavy accented speech about smuggling rings and codes in books
  • NOISE OUTSIDE WHICH INDICATES SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE IN THIS SCENE
  • Sherlock:
    RUNNING
  • John:
    Sherlock get your arse back here
  • Soo Lin:
    dead
  • Sherlock:
    ok we need books
  • -BOOKS-
  • John:
    I need sleep oh fuck work
  • Sarah:
    that was unprofessional
  • John:
    I'll make it up to you with a date
  • Sarah:
    SURE
  • -221B-
  • John:
    I have a date!
  • Sherlock:
    I didn't know we were going out tonight
  • John:
    no Sherlock just
  • John:
    no
  • -CIRCUS-
  • Sherlock:
    Hello I'm John's other sexual partner
  • Sarah:
    what
  • Sherlock:
    I meant flatmate. Flatmate is the thing I meant.
  • John:
    sherlock please just fuck off and let me get sex
  • CHINESE SPEAR TRICKERY
  • Sherlock:
    snooping around backstage
  • NINJA ATTACK
  • Sarah:
    BEATS THAT GUY THE FUCK UP WITH MOTHERFUCKING LEAD PIPING
  • -221b-
  • Sarah:
    I'm hungry
  • John:
    me too
  • Sherlock:
    I COULD BE HUNGRY IF I WANTED TO BE
  • Sarah:
    what's this?
  • Sherlock:
    I COULD BE A PRETTY BLONDE IF I WANTED
  • Sarah:
    just pointing out something that Sherlock Holmes didn't notice
  • sherlock:
  • Sherlock:
    bitch
  • Chinese man:
    KIDNAPPING
  • Sherlock:
    JOOOOOHHHHNNNNN
  • -TUNNEL-
  • General:
    GIVE US THE PIN MOTHERFUCKER
  • John:
    what
  • General:
    YES SHERLOCK HOLMES WE HAVE YOU NOWWW
  • John:
    what
  • General:
    FINE WE'LL JUST KILL YOUR GIRLFRIEND
  • John:
    WHAT
  • Sherlock:
    sup bitches
  • INTENSE FIGHTING AND NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE
  • Sarah:
    crying
  • John:
    I promise I'll pay for the therapy
  • -domestic breakfast at 221B-
  • Sherlock:
    jade pin smuggling ring
  • John:
    foooood
  • -ELSEWHERE-
  • General:
    sorry I fucked up
  • Mysterious antagonist:
    that's sweet but I'm still killing you. SEB, GET ON IT